My Adventures with Online Dating.

Hola Dear Readers!

It’s been a bout a year since I posted on this blog.  That doesn’t mean I haven’t been writing however! I’ve been mostly posting to my book review blog over the last year and have been having a blast the whole time.  I’ve met some great writers, read some extraordinary books (some not so extraordinary) and even gotten to know a few other avid readers of clean romance novels.

My personal life over the last year has been a slightly different story all by itself.

In one of my lasts posts on this blog I talked about being ready to go back into the dating field, so I decided to try online dating. After a year of experimenting I have come to the conclusion that online dating just isn’t for me!

I tried 3 sites for copyright sake and to keep from being sued I will not list their names.  The first two sites I paid for a month’s subscription just to see if it was worth a deeper investment.

On one site, I’ll call it A to keep from confusing you, I only had gentlemen old enough to be my grandfather approaching me.  Now I’m not saying its wrong or immoral but I’m not interested in anyone old enough to be my grandfather.

On Site B, I was approached by not 1, not 2, but 3 con artists!!!!! I don’t know if it was the same person trying to get to me with 3 different profiles or what it was but I was about to lose my faith in humanity after that craziness!

Of course, I quickly deleted my profile from both sites A and B and was about to give up after two months of torture, when I decided to give one more very reputable site a try. So in March of last year I tried Site C.

Site C was a little expensive so I had to wait until they had a free weekend to communicate with some of the men on the site.  I actually met some very nice real men on Site C.

I actually narrowed it down 2 men Mr. K lived in the Midwest and Mr. M lived in the Southeast.  They were definitely the real deal I did background checks on both of them and they both were real people with lives that were traceable and neither of them had police records.  After about a month I decided to narrow the field even more and decided to concentrate exclusively on Mr. M.

While I liked both men, I just felt I had more in common with Mr. M.  We agreed on everything from movies and music to politics and religion.  He was funny and did silly little things for me like send me a digital rose every morning in a text message. I must say he quite turned my head a little bit.

After a couple of months of emailing, calling, texting, and Skyping things started slowly coming apart. Mr. M got a promotion at his job and his communication started disappearing.  Now, before you get upset dear readers, let me explain that at first I wasn’t too upset. I’m a big girl I understand being busy and things becoming so hectic that you lose track of things. Plus Mr. M was going to school at the same time. So between work and school I understood having less time to talk on the phone.  Don’t think that I was totally relying on him either. I did text, and call him on a pretty regular basis so it isn’t as if I was sitting by the phone waiting for him. If I had something to do I went out and did it. (I may not have much of a life but I’m no wallflower either.)

Then, the communication went from once a week to nothing for almost 3 weeks. That readers is when I should have seen the writing on the wall. When Mr. M did call he always apologized profusely and said he was going to do better but then it would happen again and by November, I’d had enough. After making another promise to call more often I got a text message from him saying he was thankful for me and then I didn’t hear from him for another week and a half.

So I sent him a message telling him that I couldn’t do this anymore and if he couldn’t commit to at least once a week then maybe we shouldn’t do this anymore.  The sad thing is that he seemed to have time to post on Facebook but he didn’t seem to have time to call me.

I haven’t heard from Mr. M since that last text message on Thanksgiving Day.

Please don’t feel sad for me dear readers.  I did learn a few important things in this year-long experiment.

I learned that I can open up and let someone into my life.

I learned a lot of cool detective skills. (Catfish MTV is a great learning tool)

I also learned that most of the time my first instincts served me well about the shadier people who came across my path.

The last thing I learned was that I have some great friends who were there to help me stay grounded and love me through this process.

Is online dating a bad thing? I wouldn’t say it is. I’m just saying it’s not for me. I have a few friends who met and married the man of their dreams through different websites and more power to them. I however, will stick to the old fashion way of meeting people.

Smooches,

Shineka

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4 thoughts on “My Adventures with Online Dating.

  1. LOL…Kristy. I assure you, I haven’t given up or anything like that I’ve just given up on the online dating aspect of it. The whole experience wasn’t completely awful. I just learned a little more about myself and what I do and don’t want in a potential mate. I do want quality time and to be able to trust my partner. I don’t want to be ignored for large stretches of time and empty promises. No love lost and I pray the best for both Mr. M and Mr. K. God loves them and has a special plan for their lives just like he has one for the rest of us. 🙂

  2. I am such a mr. M it isn’t even funny….but its just from being busy…it offends a lot of ppl, but sometimes you just feel like your so focussed on things taking the time out to call someone is a gamble…that time will never come back to you….nice post bella 🙂

  3. Aww…Bishop say it ain’t so! I understand getting caught up in life but, you’ve got to invest the time in the woman if you are really interested in her. I’m not saying everyday but at least once a week especially if we’re talking a long distance relationship.

    Thanks for the encouragement. You have a great day! 🙂

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